


No Swimmin'

by DuWinter



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuWinter/pseuds/DuWinter
Summary: Written to the Prompt: Mirandy goes swimming. *wink*Summery: A hot day in a small rural town.
Relationships: Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Comments: 17
Kudos: 210





	No Swimmin'

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The novel The Devil Wears Prada (2003) was written by Lauren Weisberger and published by Broadway Books. The Film, made in 2006, was directed by David Frankel and produced by Wendy Finerman and Keren Rosenfelt. Ms. Weisberger's novel was adapted for the screen by Aline Brosh MeKenna. It starred our two favorite ladies, Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway. The Devil Wears Prada and it's characters do not belong to me. This material is written strictly for the purpose of the enjoyment of The Devil Wears Prada's fan fiction audience. I'm just playing with the characters for a short while and I promise to put them away neatly when I'm through. No money being made here. Please don't sue, you'd be very disappointed when you found out I don't own anything worth taking. 
> 
> Author's Note: My apologies to anybody that is from or that knows Dry Prong, LA. I know it only from the Internet and it sounded small enough and rural enough for the purposes of my story. 
> 
> This story was originally posted to my Live Journal page (DuWinter's Muse) on Valentines Day, February 14th, 2009.
> 
> Very Special Thanks to grdnofeverything who bravely volunteered to be my beta. If there's a metal for above and beyond in this community it should be awarded to her posthaste.
> 
> This work was added too and tweaked post the last beta read. Needless to say all mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> Comments feed the Muse, remember a fat Muse is a happy and productive Muse. Comments and constructive criticism eagerly encouraged.

Andy Sachs, likely to soon be ex-Second Assistant to Miranda Priestly, sits in the small dirty rural jail cell, her naked body wrapped in a scratchy, old blanket from the trunk of the local sheriff's cruiser. She sighs, nods to herself and says, “Yep, everything that can go wrong has gone wrong,” softly to herself. She thinks back to earlier today and how this all started.

“It's a hundred and six degrees in the shade and the air is so humid you need to swim through it,” moans Andy.

Nigel nods, his bald head glistening with sweat, his shirtsleeves rolled up and the body of his shirt drenched. “You'd think that the thunderstorm that just passed through would have cooled it down at least a little instead of just ruining the shoot,” he sighs.

Andy's eyes widen. “Oh my god! You're going to have to call Miranda! You're going to have to tell her that the photos aren't going to be ready....” she begins to babble in panic.

Nigel turns and looks at her. “Not me, Six. You're going to have to call her,” he answers with a wicked little smirk. “I have to try and salvage something out of this mess.” He turns back to the ruin that was the third re-shoot attempt for a spread due to go to press in just a few days. He sighs again, “Who's idea was it to shoot urban trendy in a Louisiana swamp? Have their name on the tip of your tongue, Six. When Miranda begins to wind up, you can feed them to her. It might just be enough to keep your head on your shoulders for a while longer."

Andy nods. “And I though you were my friend....” she says with bitterness in her voice, but the playful expression on her face belies the tone. She turns and heads for one of the cars parked on the dirt road running beside the shoot location. “I'll go use the satellite phone,” she calls out over her shoulder. “God knows I barely get a cell connection back in that little backwater they call a town.”

Nigel moves off in the opposite direction toward the pond that they were using as a back drop to survey the damage. “At least they have a dry cleaner,” he calls out. “When you get done with Miranda, get a hold of him and find out how much it's going cost us to get him to stay open tonight until everything is cleaned. We have to get the water spots out. We have to be ready to shoot again first thing tomorrow morning.

Andy doesn't even turn around. She just raises a hand in a wave as a response acknowledging the directive. “I'll be back to help as soon as I've let Miranda know what's happened.”

Andy sits down in the back of one of the cars, her feet out the door on the ground. She holds the satellite phone to her ear. “Emily?” she asks softly, bitting her lip. “How's her mood?”

“She's out of control,” Emily whispers urgently so that the Dragon Lady won't hear the conversation. “She's bloody well going to kill someone. I'm just doing my best to keep my head down so it won't be me.”

“Well,” Andy sighs, “Put me through to her. With what I have to tell her, it will be me rather than you.”

“Oh Andy, I might even owe you a favor,” Emily says in her usual nasty condescending manner as she clicks off and puts the call through.

Then She was on the line. “What is it Andrea?” Miranda asks, her tone short. “Please do not bore me. It's busy here and I don't have time for idle conversations.”

“Miranda,” Andy begins with trepidation in her voice.

Miranda cuts her off. “Andrea, do not tell me something has gone wrong with the shoot. I sent you and Nigel to see to it that nothing went wrong with it this time. If I can't trust the two of you than I can trust no one!”

Andy squeezes her eyes shut as the quiet tirade on the other end of the phone begins to build. She tries breathing exercises to calm herself. She's been trying different kinds of exercises a lot lately to help keep Miranda from rattling her. She has also recently been questioning why Miranda can effect her like she does. Andy desperately wants Miranda's approval. She lives her life in constant extremes, alternately in hope of all too rare praise and in fear of the day that Miranda will cast her away. She moves heaven and earth to try and please the woman. She swallow and opens her eyes at the sudden silence on the other end of the line. “There was an unexpected thunderstorm,” she offers quietly. “We got caught in it. All the couture will have to be dry cleaned before it can be photographed. Water spots. Nigel intends to have the photographer shoot again tomorrow morning.”

There are several long seconds of silence on the other end of the line. “I'm coming there.” Miranda says, her tone ominous and the line goes dead.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god...” Andy says rapidly, panicked and starring at the satellite phone. “No,no,no,no,no...” She frantically dials Emily again. Emily answers after a few rings. Andy jumps in before Emily can say anything. “She can't come here!” She shouts into the phone. “There's nothing here! For god's sake, the only restaurant in this town is a greasy spoon diner and we're staying in the equivalent of a Motel 6!”

“Oh Andy,” Emily offers nastily and Andy can see the other woman's evil smile in her mind's eye. “I'm so sorry. It's too late. She's already on her way to the corporate jet. Expect her arrival at seven your time.” Emily breaks the connection.

Andy again finds herself starring at the satellite phone her mouth hanging open. This has disaster written all over it. She drops the phone on the back seat of the car as if it had burned her and rushes to find Nigel.

*****

Nigel nervously glances at his watch again for the umpteenth time. It's just after seven P.M. and the temperature has dropped all of one degree. He and Andy stand on the common of Dry Prong, Louisiana, population 254, waiting for the helicopter that will bring Miranda from the airport at Baton Rouge. It has been a mad scramble to prepare for her arrival. The crew and models for the shoot have already taxed the small town's available facilities and people have to be moved around to make the best room in the hotel available for the Dragon Lady. Unfortunately the room's window air conditioner has seen better days. The locals were uneasy with the big city foreigners invading their town before and a certain amount of hostility was in the air. Now the queen bee will be flying in and landing a helicopter on their common. Word has traveled through like wildfire and many of the townspeople are outside in the hot humid evening watching the skies.

Andrea closes her eyes as she stands sweating beside Nigel, who is dressed fashionably but in way too many clothes for the heat. “Chin up, Six.” he offers a Runway insider's smile. “When it happens, we can only hope it will be over quickly.”

Andy shakes her head. “You know she's going to torture someone over this Nige,” she offers softly. “And you know we're the most likely targets.” Their eyes both turn upward as they hear the chop chop chop of a helicopter approaching from the distance.

Nigel nods. “Chin up. We've both worked miracles since we got here. We can take some comfort in that.”

Andy looks down. “She's going to fire us. Fire us and leave us without a way to get out of this backwater.”

Nigel shrugs as the helicopter glides in and sets down. “If that happens I have my eyes on that cute deputy sheriff. I'm sure I could get him to put me up for a few days.....” he says, grinning at Andy.

Andy rolls her eyes and ducks running to open the door to the helicopter.

Miranda steps out into the oppressive heat and humidity. She ducks and walks out from under the spinning blades. Andy grabs Miranda's suitcase, closes the helicopter door and, staying down, quickly follows her employer. The helicopter is on the ground for less than a minute and then is away again.

Miranda approaches Nigel and looks at him pursing her lips. “Tell me something good Nigel,” she says in her deadly quiet voice.

Nigel shakes his head. “It's another disaster, Miranda. The weather hasn't cooperated. The heat and humidity is making the models wilt. The shoot location is beautiful, but not easy to get everything into.....”

Miranda imperiously holds up her hand, stopping him. “Andrea,” she says coldly, “have the photographer and the rest of the principles of the shoot crew in my hotel room in twenty minutes. Nigel, I want to know what we have to shoot.

Check with the people that are cleaning the couture and make sure that it will be usable. Then be at the meeting.” She turns to Andrea. “Take me to my room.”

Miranda is not amused when she sees where she will be spending the night. She glares at Andrea who responds, “It's the best in town,” meekly as she places Miranda's suit case on the suitcase stand.

Miranda purses her lips and silently enters the hot stuffy room. “Why isn't the air conditioning on?” She demands.

Andrea swallows hard, knowing that life as she knows it is at an end. She looks at her employer and says quietly, “It is on Miranda, it just doesn't work very well.”

Miranda lets out a long suffering sigh that has Andy wishing she were anywhere else. “Make sure there is ice and water available for the meeting. Call Emily and tell her to move the run-through to the day after tomorrow. Have her call my housekeeper and see to my girls' needs. Move the interview with the candidate for the new head of the Art Department to next Friday and see to it that a car is available to me. As we don't have a driver available here, I'll expect you to drive me if I choose to go out. That's all,” Miranda says as she turns away into her room.

Andy goes to her room, which she now shares with two of the models, to freshen up before the meeting.

If one were to describe the meeting, brutal would be one of the kinder words. Miranda goes over every planning document, all the preliminary location photographs and all shots that were taken before the rainstorm hit in excruciating detail. She never raises her voice, never utters a harsh word. By the end of the meeting two and a half hours later, three of the crew members are in tears, two more are considering suicide and Nigel is planning to go get good and drunk.

As Miranda dismisses the assembled group, Andy finds that she is very nervous. She has somehow managed to not be the target of any of Miranda's ire. None of the so quietly delivered cutting comments have been directed at her. When Miranda doesn't dismiss her, she is sure that it's because that Miranda has decided to fire her because someone must be punished for all that has gone wrong with this shoot. She is trying to brace herself for this eventuality when Miranda draws a bottle of good top shelf bourbon from her suitcase. She uprights the room's two motel water glasses and takes the paper covers off of them. She adds two ice cubes from the plastic ice bucket to each of the glasses and then pours in three generous fingers of liquor into each glass. She offers Andy one of the glasses and then moves to the room's window. She looks out the window silently as she sips her drink. Andy clutches hers, afraid to drink it and afraid not to. Ten minutes later, Miranda puts her empty glass down and steps up beside Andrea. “Take me to the shoot location,” she demands. Andy downs her drink and follows Miranda from the room.

*****

A few minutes later they are in a car and driving out of the small town. Their destination is the small lake where the shoot is being done. It is just after ten thirty at night and the temperature has dropped to one hundred and one. The air is so thick with humidity that it feels as if it could be cut with a knife. Miranda watches silently out the window as they pass down the dark rural road. She says nothing as they travel. Andrea is still on edge, the alcohol she has consumed on an empty stomach doing nothing to decrease her case of nerves. She again wonders at Miranda's ability to shake her even when the woman doesn't say anything.

The moonlight glistens on the water as Andy parks the car on the road above the pond. Miranda gets out of the car and walks down towards the water's edge. The near full moon provides enough light to see for the moment but fast moving clouds on the near horizon threaten a repeat of today's rain squall and it is becoming darker by the moment. Miranda walks out on the small boat pier and looks out over the water. Andy follows and stands just a few feet behind her.

Miranda's voice is quiet when she speaks. “This place is on private property is it not?” She asks her assistant.

“Yes, Miranda,” Andy answers nervously.

“And this place is safe for the models? No alligators and such?” Miranda asks as she places her hand on the 'No Swimmin' sign posted at the end of the pier.

“Yes, Miranda,” Andy again answers. “It's checked by the owners at dawn and dusk to make sure no alligators have moved in.” Internally she wishes that Miranda would just get it over with and fillet her as she'd filleted the others.

Miranda nods and stooping down, she runs her hand through the water. Standing gracefully she says, “It's very hot Andrea,” very softly, her voice caressing the young woman's name. “And the water is deliciously cool. I think we should treat ourselves to a swim.”

“Uh...Miranda?” Andy says pulling on her lower lip with her teeth. “Uh...I didn't bring a suit.”

Miranda's hands go to her blouse and began to unbutton it. “Neither did I.”

Andy spends a moment trying to process what she has heard and is seeing. It appears that Miranda plans to disrobe right there at the end of the pier. Andy knows that she's feeling the drink she's had. Dinner really hadn't been an option as everyone was rushing to try and get ready for the Ice Queen's arrival. She takes in a deep breath and risks breaking Emily's first rule. She dares to ask a question. “Do you mean skinny dipping?” she squeaks.

“Really Andrea,” Miranda answers with some derision in her tone as she carefully folds her blouse and places it on the pier. “We're both adult women. It's dreadfully hot; it's dark and getting darker by the moment and it isn't like you haven't seen another women naked before.” Her hands go to her skirt and undo it at the waist.

Oh no,no,no,no,no, Andy thinks frantically. This is like one of her dreams, her naked in the water...naked and close to Miranda. Oh, this is not good. This is so not good. She's feeling panicked as she watches Miranda carefully folds her skirt. Miranda looks at her and arches one perfect eyebrow. Andy feels her traitorous hands go to her blouse of their own volition and she begins to undress.

A breeze has suddenly come up and the clouds move in, obscuring the rest of the moonlight. Andy looks up from watching her traitorous hands making short work of removing her clothes and sees a pale and indistinct almost ghostly figure slip off the end of the pier. A soft splash quickly follows. Andy feels a pain in her chest, as if she's been cheated of something she wanted badly but never realized she had wanted. She places her clothes beside Miranda's stack of clothing on the edge of the pier and, walking to the end, she steps off.

Miranda slips into the marvelously cool water and swims away from the pier. For the first time since she's touched down in Louisiana, she's physically comfortable. She stretches her limbs and blissfully floats in the water. She feels free. She smiles and thinks back. She'd seen the pictures of the lake at the meeting and had immediately thought of swimming. When was the last time she'd indulged such a spontaneous whim? She couldn't remember. It was Andrea's fault, she thought. She was always someone else now when ever the girl was around. She had begun to realize the effect that Andrea was having on her more that two months ago. It was insidious the way the naïve girl had subtly breached her defenses. She made Miranda feel again. A luxury that Miranda hadn't allowed herself in a long time. A few days ago Miranda had realized just how profound the girl's effect on her had become. Miranda realized that she missed the girl after sending her to help Nigel oversee the shoot. She realizes now that it has gone even farther. During the meeting it hadn't even entered her mind to castigate Andrea for the unmitigated disaster that was this shoot. Miranda sighs happily and chuckles to herself in the privacy of the darkness. She is in love with her Second Assistant. How perfectly absurd. A little planning, a few pushes in the right places and Stephen could be convinced to divorce her. Even convinced that it is his idea and not hers. She could be the wronged party. There is certainly no love left in the marriage. For a brief moment she wonders if there ever was. Then....then there could be Andrea. A few short moments later she hears another splash and she realizes that Andrea has joined her in the water. The thought of the beautiful young woman naked in the water with her is deliciously decadent and Miranda swims lazily toward where she heard her companion enter the water. Her eyes have adjusted well to the dark and she can make out the woman's head and shoulders above the water not too far off. She dives beneath the water and swims behind her, surfacing close by and brushing Andrea's body playfully as she breaks the surface.

Andy shrieks in surprise as she is touched and then splashed as Miranda surfaces. It brings laughter to her lips. It is Andy's dream. Miranda, not the icon but the woman, doing something normal, something that anyone might do. Just being with Andrea. She smiles at her employer who she suddenly realizes is quite close to her. Their bodies aren't touching but Miranda's lips, Miranda's luscious lips are so close it makes Andy ache. It would be so easy to just lean forward an inch or two and ....Stop thinking such crazy thoughts, Sachs!

Andrea laughing. It immediately moves high onto Miranda's list of things she's going to see to it that happens regularly. Her back is to the pier and Andrea is before her, facing the land. They are so close, so painfully close. Their lips almost touching. She knows that she is the power between them. She wants it so badly but she won't make the first move. If it's going to happen Andrea must initiate the kiss.

It's too late, Andy thinks, I am so going to be fired as she leans in. Just before their lips brush Andy looks up and sees the beam of a flashlight coming down from road. “Oh my god, Miranda! Somebody's coming!” she whispers. “We have to get out of here!” She pushes back as Miranda swims for the the cover underneath the pier will provide. Andy looks up again and can make out a heavy man in a uniform. The local sheriff or one of his deputies. She looks around judging time and distance and realizes that he's too close, that they don't have a chance. Visions of Page Six and Miranda humiliated by tales of her skinny dipping with a young female employee. They'll crucify her. “Get out of here Miranda!” she hisses. “Grab the clothes and go!” She turns in the water and noisily splashing she swims away from the pier and towards a distant point where she can leave the water easily. The flashlight beam follows the sound and in moments she is pinned by it.

“This herea is the Sheriff of Grant Parish.” the fat uniformed man shouts as his flashlight beam sweeps over the water looking for the source of the sound. “ This herea is private property and there's no swimmin'! You bring your butt outta that water now! You hear me boy? You in a heap a trouble bo...aaaaaaaahhhhh' he stumbles over his words as Andy stands and unashamedly leaves the water.

Miranda watches in amazement as Andrea diverts the fat mans attention. It allows her to grab the clothes and move to the other side of the pier. She slips from the water and dashes into the heavy vegetation. From there, she watches as Andrea is arrested. It is almost comical how uncomfortable the sheriff is as he has to detain and handcuff naked woman. When her clothes are no where to be found the sheriff takes her to his car and wraps a blanket from the trunk around her. A few minutes later he reads her her rights and places her in the back of the car. Miranda then dresses in silence and waits until the sheriff's cruiser drives away, Then she makes her way to the car she and Andrea came in and drives back leaving the car on the outskirts of town. Slipping back into her motel room she quickly undresses and jumps in the shower. It doesn't take long before there is a knock on the door.

Nigel's phone rings several times before he wakes enough to answer it. He glances at his travel alarm clock grabs the phone and snarls “Do you know what time it is?”

Andy's voice is on the other end of the telephone line. “Yes, Nigel...I'm sorry...” she sounds as if she may have been crying.

“What is it Six?” he asks, suddenly concerned . He knows Andrea isn't one for overt dramatics.

“Nigel,” she says softly. “I've been arrested.”

Nigel stands before Miranda's door and braces himself for the coming explosion. How could Six have been so stupid? Arrested. Arrested for indecent exposure and trespassing. Miranda will flay her and then leave her in this backwater of two hundred and fifty some souls. He shakes his head and sighs. It's a shame. He has begun to like the girl. He knocks and hears Miranda call “Come in!” from inside. He enters the Dragon Lady's lair. Looking around, he hears the shower turned off and a moment later Miranda steps from the bathroom in a bathrobe and her hair wrapped in a towel.

“Miranda, we have a small problem.”

Thirty minutes later Miranda Priestly, immaculately turned out editor-in-chief of Runway Magazine, stands in the claustrophobically small sheriff's Office located at the end of the main street of Dry Prong. She is in full “icon” mode and is an impressive and frightening figure. She has just delivered a quiet, perfectly enunciated and scathing diatribe to the night officer who has refused to has called the sheriff , saying he has just left for the night after bringing in his prisoner. The man almost wets his pants before he complies. The sheriff returns quickly to the office and Miranda turns on all her considerable charm speaking to him as if he were her equal and confidant. It is a bravissima performance and Andrea is released into Miranda's custody on the payment of a small fine.

Nigel awaits them in the car as Miranda escorts the blanket clad girl into the back seat. “Back to the motel please Nigel.” Miranda says and then turns and looks silently out the window.

Nigel turns in the driver's seat and glances back at the girl. “I'm sorry Six.” he says sadly as he pulls away from the curb.

Andy nods and looks down knowing the ax is about to fall. That it has to fall now because Miranda has to protect herself.

Miranda sighs. “Would you two stop with the tragic drama? I'm not going to fire the girl,” she huffs. She turns to Andrea. “We are, however, going to talk about this when we get back to the motel,” she says in that tone that makes Runway employees tremble in their Manolo Blahniks.

Andy follows Miranda into her motel room like a woman on her way to her own execution. She is still wrapped only in the blanket the Sheriff had thrown around her shoulders when she was arrested.

Miranda closes the door behind them and moves over quickly, pouring them both a strong drink. Standing close, she offers it to the blanket clad woman and asks the question that has been pounding in her brain since she turned and saw Andrea making enough noise to wake the dead and swimming away from where she hid. “Why?” Miranda asks softly.

Andy looks into those beautiful blue eyes. “Isn't it obvious?” she whispers.

Miranda looks at her closely, her face betraying her uncertainty. “I need to hear you say it, Andrea,” she says, her voice caressing the name like something precious. The sound of it makes Andy shiver deliciously every time.

Andy chooses a nonverbal response to the question and answers by leaning in and brushing her lips across Miranda's. It is the gentlest of kisses.

Miranda lets out the breath she's been holding and smiles at the women standing beside her. “We still need to discuss what to do about discipline for your arrest.”

Andrea smiles and laughs softly, breathlessly, “How do you feel about spanking?” she asks playfully, the blanket beginning to slip.


End file.
